Amnon and Tamar
1 After this, Absalom the son of David had a beautiful sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her. 2 Amnon was so troubled that he became sick because of his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin, and it seemed hard to Amnon to do anything to her. 3 But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David’s brother; and Jonadab was a very subtle man. 4 He said to him, “Why, son of the king, are you so sad from day to day? Won’t you tell me?” Amnon said to him, “I love Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.” 5 Jonadab said to him, “Lay down on your bed and pretend to be sick. When your father comes to see you, tell him, ‘Please let my sister Tamar come and give me bread to eat, and prepare the food in my sight, that I may see it and eat it from her hand.’” 6 So Amnon lay down and faked being sick. When the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king, “Please let my sister Tamar come and make me a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat from her hand.” 7 Then David sent home to Tamar, saying, “Go now to your brother Amnon’s house, and prepare food for him.” 8 So Tamar went to her brother Amnon’s house; and he was lying down. She took dough, kneaded it, made cakes in his sight, and baked the cakes. 9 She took the pan and poured them out before him, but he refused to eat. Amnon said, “Have all men leave me.” Then every man went out from him. 10 Amnon said to Tamar, “Bring the food into the room, that I may eat from your hand.” Tamar took the cakes which she had made, and brought them into the room to Amnon her brother. 11 When she had brought them near to him to eat, he took hold of her and said to her, “Come, lie with me, my sister!” 12 She answered him, “No, my brother, do not force me! For no such thing ought to be done in Israel. Don’t you do this folly! 13 As for me, where would I carry my shame? And as for you, you will be as one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, please speak to the king; for he will not withhold me from you.” 14 However, he would not listen to her voice; but being stronger than she, he forced her and lay with her. 15 Then Amnon hated her with exceedingly great hatred; for the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. Amnon said to her, “Arise, be gone!” 16 She said to him, “Not so, because this great wrong in sending me away is worse than the other that you did to me!” But he would not listen to her. 17 Then he called his servant who ministered to him, and said, “Now put this woman out from me, and bolt the door after her.” 18 She had a garment of various colors on her, for the king’s daughters who were virgins dressed in such robes. Then his servant brought her out and bolted the door after her. 19 Tamar put ashes on her head, and tore her garment of various colors that was on her; and she laid her hand on her head and went her way, crying aloud as she went. 20 Absalom her brother said to her, “Has Amnon your brother been with you? But now hold your peace, my sister. He is your brother. Don’t take this thing to heart.” So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom’s house. 21 But when King David heard of all these things, he was very angry. 22 Absalom spoke to Amnon neither good nor bad; for Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar.
The sword enters the house: a prince rapes his half-sister on a friend's advice, discards her, and a father is angry and does nothing.
Amnon was so troubled that he became sick because of his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin, and it seemed hard to Amnon to do anything to her.
The chapter opens by calling it love 2 Samuel 13:1 and then dismantles the claim over twenty verses. What Amnon has is obsession with an obstacle — it seemed hard to Amnon to do anything to her — and the sickness is frustration, not affection.
But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David’s brother; and Jonadab was a very subtle man.
The cousin's advice is the machinery of the crime: fake illness, ask for the one nurse you want, get her alone. Jonadab never touches anyone and makes the whole thing possible — and he reappears at the end of the chapter, entirely composed, explaining the murder to the king 2 Samuel 13:32. Scripture has a category for men who supply the plan and keep their hands clean, and this is its portrait.
Then David sent home to Tamar, saying, “Go now to your brother Amnon’s house, and prepare food for him.”
The father sends her. He is deceived, and he is also the reason she cannot refuse; the king's order puts a young woman alone in a bedroom with the man who has been staring at her.
12 She answered him, “No, my brother, do not force me! For no such thing ought to be done in Israel. Don’t you do this folly! 13 As for me, where would I carry my shame? And as for you, you will be as one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, please speak to the king; for he will not withhold me from you.”
Tamar argues — four arguments in two verses, and they are all good ones: the law, her ruin, his name, and a legitimate alternative if he will ask the king. She is the only person in the chapter who speaks about right and wrong. However, he would not listen to her voice; but being stronger than she, he forced her 2 Samuel 13:14. The narrative gives the crime one clause and gives her the argument, which is where its sympathies are.
Then Amnon hated her with exceedingly great hatred; for the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. Amnon said to her, “Arise, be gone!”
The verse is one of Scripture's sharpest pieces of psychology. Lust that called itself love turns to loathing the moment it is satisfied, because what it wanted was never the person. He has her thrown out and the door bolted, and her protest is that the discarding is worse than the other that you did to me 2 Samuel 13:16 — she knows what an unmarried, ruined princess faces.
Tamar put ashes on her head, and tore her garment of various colors that was on her; and she laid her hand on her head and went her way, crying aloud as she went.
She mourns publicly in the ruined robe of a virgin daughter of the king, crying aloud in the street, and the two men who should act tell her to be quiet. Absalom says hold your peace, my sister... don't take this thing to heart 2 Samuel 13:20 and begins planning a murder. David was very angry 2 Samuel 13:21 and does nothing at all — no discipline, no justice, not even a recorded word to his daughter. The king who executes justice and righteousness for all his people 2 Samuel 8:15 cannot do it in his own house, and a man who has recently done what he did with another man's wife may have found himself with nothing to say. Tamar is left desolate, and both silences will be paid for.
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