Iron Sharpens Iron
1 Don’t boast about tomorrow; for you don’t know what a day may bring. 2 Let another man praise you, and not your own mouth; a stranger, and not your own lips. 3 A stone is heavy, and sand is a burden; but a fool’s provocation is heavier than both. 4 Wrath is cruel, and anger is overwhelming; but who is able to stand before jealousy? 5 Better is open rebuke than hidden love. 6 The wounds of a friend are faithful, although the kisses of an enemy are profuse. 7 A full soul loathes a honeycomb; but to a hungry soul, every bitter thing is sweet. 8 As a bird that wanders from her nest, so is a man who wanders from his home. 9 Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart; so does earnest counsel from a man’s friend. 10 Don’t forsake your friend and your father’s friend. Don’t go to your brother’s house in the day of your disaster. A neighbor who is near is better than a distant brother. 11 Be wise, my son, and bring joy to my heart, then I can answer my tormentor. 12 A prudent man sees danger and takes refuge; but the simple pass on, and suffer for it. 13 Take his garment when he puts up collateral for a stranger. Hold it for a wayward woman! 14 He who blesses his neighbor with a loud voice early in the morning, it will be taken as a curse by him. 15 A continual dropping on a rainy day and a contentious wife are alike: 16 restraining her is like restraining the wind, or like grasping oil in his right hand. 17 Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens his friend’s countenance.
The chapter is about friendship, and its central claim is that a friend's wounds are more trustworthy than an enemy's affection.
It opens with two warnings about the mouth. Don't boast about tomorrow; for you don't know what a day may bring. And then: Let another man praise you, and not your own mouth. Both concern claims a man makes on his own behalf, one about the future and one about himself, and both are met with the same observation. He is not in a position to know.
The run's argument then gathers around what a friend does. Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Love that stays hidden is described as worth less than criticism that is spoken. It is a hard sentence, and the collection does not soften it. Then the verse that carries the chapter: The wounds of a friend are faithful, although the kisses of an enemy are profuse. The friend wounds and the enemy kisses. What distinguishes them is not the sensation but the intention behind it, and the word for the friend's wounds is faithful — they can be relied on.
What that costs is measured in the next comparison: Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart; so does earnest counsel from a man's friend. Advice given in earnest is set beside the most pleasant things in a house. The collection is not describing criticism as unpleasant medicine. It is saying that being taken seriously by somebody who will tell you the truth is one of life's genuine pleasures.
One verse ranks relationships in a way that would have been startling in a clan society: A neighbor who is near is better than a distant brother. Blood is not the measure. Proximity in trouble is. And the same verse tells a man not to abandon your father's friend, an inherited relationship treated as an asset worth keeping.
The famous line closes the run: Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens his friend's countenance. Sharpening is done by contact, with pressure, between two things of the same hardness. It makes sparks and it removes metal. Nothing in the image is gentle, and the result is an edge neither piece could have given itself. What the verse names as sharpened is the face — the way a man looks and is seen. That is where the effect of good company actually shows.
settled What this mark means